What Is Perfectionism?

Apr 24

Perfectionism is a word that gets thrown around a lot. Some people wear it like a badge of honor—"Oh, I’m such a perfectionist!" Others think of it as something negative, like being overly controlling, rigid, or never satisfied.

But perfectionism isn’t about wanting things to be neat, organized, or successful. It runs much deeper than that. It’s not just a personality trait, it’s a mindset. One that tells you that if something isn’t done perfectly, it’s not worth doing at all.

And often, it doesn’t even feel like perfectionism—it just feels like the constant pressure to do things "right."

Signs of Perfectionism

Many people who struggle with perfectionism don’t actually call themselves perfectionists. Instead, they say things like:
✔ "I just want to do things the right way."
✔ "I have high standards—that’s a good thing, right?"
✔ "I don’t need everything to be perfect… I just don’t want to mess up."

Sound familiar? Here are some common signs of perfectionism:

You feel like you’re never doing enough, no matter how much you accomplish.
You have a hard time relaxing without feeling guilty or unproductive.
You second-guess yourself before speaking up or making a decision.
You feel like you’re always carrying more responsibility than others.
You’re more afraid of making mistakes than excited about success.
You replay conversations or tasks in your mind, wondering if you could have done better.
You struggle to ask for help because you feel like you "should" be able to handle everything on your own.

If any of this sounds familiar, you might be struggling with perfectionism—even if you’ve never thought of yourself that way.

What Perfectionism Really Is

Perfectionism isn’t just about having high standards. It’s about feeling like you have to meet those standards at all times, or else something bad will happen—you’ll disappoint someone, feel ashamed, or prove your deepest fear that you’re "not good enough."

It’s not about wanting to be the best—it’s about being afraid to fail.

For many people, perfectionism develops as a coping mechanism. Somewhere along the way, your brain learned that being "perfect" (or at least trying to be) helped you:
✔ Avoid criticism or judgment
✔ Feel in control in uncertain situations
✔ Make life easier for the people around you
✔ Earn approval, praise, or validation

The problem? Perfectionism never lets you rest.

It creates an impossible standard that keeps moving higher, so no matter what you do, it never feels like enough. And over time, it can lead to stress, anxiety, burnout, and even physical symptoms like chronic tension, headaches, or digestive issues.

How Perfectionism Affects Your Mental Health

Many people struggling with perfectionism also experience high-functioning anxiety. On the outside, you might seem calm, collected, and successful—but inside, you’re battling:

Constant overthinking ("Did I say the wrong thing?" "Could I have done better?")
Self-doubt ("Am I doing enough? What if I let someone down?")
Work stress or burnout from taking on more than your fair share
Struggles with self-care because "there’s always something more important to do"
Trouble making decisions because you don’t want to get it wrong

The Good News: You Can Break Free From Perfectionism

Perfectionism isn’t something you have to fix or get rid of completely. Therapy for perfectionism isn’t about telling you to "lower your standards" or stop caring.

It’s about learning how to make perfectionism work for you, not against you.

✔ Understanding where it came from—so you can stop blaming yourself and start healing the root cause.
✔ Breaking free from the constant pressure—so you can feel at peace, even when things aren’t "perfect."
✔ Developing self-compassion—so your inner voice stops being your worst critic.
✔ Releasing the stress and anxiety that comes with perfectionism—so you can enjoy your success without fear of failure.

How Therapy for Perfectionism Can Help

If perfectionism is keeping you stuck in stress, self-doubt, or burnout, therapy can help you retrain your brain to feel safe letting go of the pressure.

At Clarity Counseling & Wellness, I specialize in helping high-achievers and overthinkers learn how to manage perfectionism without sacrificing success.

I use Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) and other trauma-informed techniques to help you break free from perfectionism’s grip—quickly and effectively.

Interested in learning more? Explore perfectionism therapy or book an appointment today. And start meeting with a perfectionism therapist who can help you let go of the stress and pressure.

About The Author, a Perfectionism Therapist in Florida

Stephanie A. Butler, LMHC-S, NCC, MCAP, is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and trauma-trained therapist with over 20 years of experience. She owns a private practice, Clarity Counseling & Wellness, based in Shalimar, Florida, and specializes in Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) for high-achieving adults struggling with, anxiety, trauma, and perfectionism. Stephanie sees clients in person and virtually across Florida and New Hampshire. To schedule a free 15-minute consultation, fill out the contact form or email her directly at Stephanie@clarityonthecoast.com.

Other Therapy Services in Shalimar & Throughout Florida

Perfectionism might be just one part of your mental and emotional journey. At Clarity Counseling & Wellness, I provide a range of in-person therapy services designed to support you in different areas of your life. My Shalimar, Florida office offers a safe, comfortable space where you can explore, heal, and grow. Some of the services I offer include Depression and Anxiety Therapy, and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR) for trauma healing. You’re never just another number or case here—you’ll receive the individualized care that’s often missing in insurance-driven, standardized settings. Ready to start your journey of growth and healing? Let’s connect—schedule your free consultation today.